Pretty Black Ashes

What remains when it all burns down.

Anonymous said: Do you think you're smarter than most people??

This is a rude question.

Anonymous said: So you mean you will perform cunnilingus? Need answers!

You not about to be anonymous demanding answers about the intimacies of my sex life. Shooooood. Think this ihh.

Anonymous said: Why is it powerful women are usually libidinous? Do you believe a sexually liberated woman is more powerful than the bound virgin who chooses to remain celibate due to religious doctrine?

I think women are more powerful with agency than they are without it. I don’t think being “libidinous” is necessarily indicative of agency. I would say anyone who does anything because of religious doctrine isn’t actually making a “CHOICE.” Therefore, women who DO actually choose celibacy, in my opinion, are just as powerful as women who are “sexually liberated,” because they are both expressing agency.

Anonymous said: You are so alluring. Just fiiine!! Are you attracted to women? (I know the question is vague, but I'm curious.)

Thank you boo. (; In general yes, but honestly, it waxes and wanes.

Anonymous said: Do you believe in a higher power or consciousness? Why/why not?

No, because at the moment I don’t have a reason to.

Anonymous said: What would you say to a man who offered to pay all of your expenses and give you living allowance, but wanted free access to head?

I would say… Do you want some fried chicken with that head?

I Get It, LL Cool J, I Have White Friends, Too

For years, I have had White friends.

I made my first White friend when I began taking private harp lessons for my sixth birthday. My harp instructor planned recitals for all of her students, and when I arrived at our first practice, I found myself surrounded entirely by White people. As a six year old born and raised in Detroit, this was my first time being left in a room where I was the only Black person. But I was a child, who was idealistic, naive and confident, and I quickly made my first White friend—Emily. Emily and I remained friends until I left the Ruth Meyers’ harp troupe the summer before I entered high school.

But not to worry, because it was during high school that I made even more White friends. And I am still very close friends with most of them today. I have found them to be supportive, reliable, and fun. We’ve seen each other through high school, college and beyond, and I am confident we will remain close friends for the rest of our lives. I look forward to homeschooling their White babies.

I consider my White friends “friends” because they have never had the gall to ask me to choose our friendship over the historical implications of our race and gender differences (did I mention that they are all cismen, too?). What I mean by this, Mr. J, is that my White friends are my White friends because they do not burden me with their White guilt, they do not seek “Black passes” for hurtful behavior simply because we are friends, and they do not try to persuade me that because we personally have such a strong friendship, it is time that the Black community “let bygones be bygones.” My White friends realize that although we are great friends, with wonderful memories and secrets shared between us, and great hopes for the future together, they are still White, and I am still Black.

And because they are still White, they still benefit from a system that has been carefully designed and tailored over centuries to prefer, protect and advance Whiteness. And because I am still Black, I am still oppressed by the same system that privileges them. In fact, their entire White (and male, for that matter) privilege rests very uncomfortably in the small of my back. Without my oppression, they would experience no racial privilege. If it weren’t for the brutal enslavement, rape and mass murder of my people, the wealth accumulation experienced by friend’s ancestors could not have occurred. If it weren’t for the carefully maintained residential and economic segregation of our communities, the wealth advantage still experienced my friend’s parents, and even them, could not be maintained. Inevitably, all White people benefit from the oppression of all Black people—friends or otherwise.

So friendship is not the answer to this problem. It is not enough that we “walk a mile in each other’s shoes,” that we make some derisive attempt at understanding each other’s culture (but really, Mr. J, comparing the Confederate Flag to a du-rag?), and it is not enough that we simply say (or sing, or rap) that it is time to let bygones be bygones. The injustice that we have endured and continue to experience can only be corrected with the absolute and complete abolishment of privilege. Privilege was not abolished through the ending of slavery, or Jim Crow, or any other nominal “victory.” White privilege continues to exist and permeate every realm of life, from wealth to health to residence to education. 

If you encounter a White person who feels guilty about this, as it seems you might have with Mr. Paisley, well, that’s just fine. It is not your job to relieve them of their guilt. In fact, some might argue (ok ok, by some, I mean me) that your incredulous sensitivity to White guilt is a slap in the face of all of your community members whose suffering can be inextricably drawn back to White imperialism, supremacy and privilege. Because, Mr. J, in order for us to really make a step at dismantling privilege (of all sorts), we need people who are brave enough to stand firm against racism, privilege and power, even when it is experienced by our friends. I appreciate your attempt at compassion (I mean, I guess), but what oppressed communities really need right now is courage.

And if members of the privileged classes are genuine about wanting “bygones to be bygones” they will abandon their cultural artifacts of violence and hatred, they will seek no sympathy for their feelings of guilt and they will renounce their privilege. Until they are able to that, Mr. J, they are no friend of yours.

And by forging this laughable alliance with them, you’ve become an enemy to yourself. And to us as well.

I get it, Mr. J, because I have White friends too. But at what expense?






Imagine a wall full of circular holes, that circles can keep walking in and out of with no difficulty.

Now imagine that the triangles manage to get the resources together, after years of not being able to fit through the circle’s holes, to drill a single triangle space into the wall.

Now imagine that the circle — who previously supported the triangle’s efforts because they are well-rounded (har) and value equality —  comes along and sees the construction project. But instead of being happy, they get angry.

“Well, I won’t be able to fit through your hole!!!!” the circle cries.

“I helped you get the drill!!!!” the circle shrieks.

“Make it fit me too!!!!” the circle demands.

The triangles, barely holding it together enough to get a triangle hole together, stare at the circle in confusion. 

“You have all the holes you need,” the triangles explain. “This is for us. You don’t need to fit through our hole, too.”


“It’s not your drill, it’s our drill. You helped us get it, because you said you cared.”


“Why is it up to us, the small group that has never been able to fit through the wall at all, to make a hole everyone can use? Why isn’t it up to you, the people who have been able to cross back and forth at will for years? We just want to see the other side; why are you yelling at us?”


“You are interfering with our project and asking us to comfort you while we’re trying to make progress. Please leave.”

“I’m going to tell everyone about this,” the circle warns. “Nobody will support you now.”

“Apparently nobody ever did,” the triangles sigh, getting back to work.

It’s kind of sad

That we have to draw comics using colorful shapes

To explain systematic inequality to people

Reblogging again because yes good

(Source: charliebink, via sexgenderbody)

A smile.

A smile.

therelentlessdemise said: Snap! And you're in to homeschooling? I volunteer at #OccupyFreedomSchool for #OccupyChicago I love it ^_^

You have to tell me more about this! Definitely sounds like something I’d love to do.

And thank you! (re: previous ask submission)

8 Mini-Activism Ideas That Can Be Done by Anyone!

Many of us have the desire to make a difference in the world, but the depth of social injustice coupled with our everyday responsibilities can be overwhelming and paralyzing. However, we all have the ability to affect change in our own backyards. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Start a community garden and entrepreneurship club: If you live in an urban area, chances are your community is faced by two problems: fresh food desertification in low-income areas, and lack of positive programs for children. With a community-garden, you can make an impact with both of these problems. Enroll kids to help plant and tend to the garden, then teach them valuable entrepreneurship skills by helping them sell the vegetables to their family and neighbors, or by managing a neighborhood co-opt.
  2. Paint murals over graffiti and gang insignia: Assist in beautification of urban decay by volunteering to paint murals over graffitied buildings and stores. Gather neighborhood kids to help! It seems small, but helping to change the face of a neighborhood contributes to a feeling of safety and community pride.
  3. Organize neighborhood clean-ups: Another great, yet simple beautification project. Organize a group of community members (as always, be sure to include and center youth) and get together twice a month to hold a neighborhood clean-up. You can also have a sub-set of the group who mows lawns for the elderly, disabled and of abandoned homes. There are also small grants available to provide stipends to kids who volunteer in this project.
  4. Create a mentorship connection program: If you’re rich in social capital, this is a great option for you. Bring your friends, colleague and family members on board with mentoring. Contact local schools and youth programs who can nominate children in need of mentoring, and then connect them with your social capital by interest.
  5. Teach youth fitness classes: If physical activity is a passion of yours, use it to help combat the growing epidemic of childhood obesity in low-income youth. Seek space to be donated by a school, community center or gym, and hold fun, interactive classes that get kids up and moving, and rewards them for their hard work.
  6. Host a “Black Girls Brunch” series: Giving young, Black women the opportunity to build sisterhood with one another while discussing key issues they’re facing is invaluable. Each brunch can have a different theme and topic, and you can invite local community members to increase networking and social capital of the young women in the group. Reach out to businesses for in-kind donations to make goodie bags.
  7. Host a “Black Boys Lunch” series: See concept above. (:
  8. Mentor youth in the juvenile justice system: Mentorship of youth who have had contact with the juvenile justice system can be particularly important to preventing recidivism. Help them reenter school and find employment. Connect them with programs and people that can keep them on the right track. 

These are just 8 ideas, but there are many more! Have a good one? Please reblog and share! Like any of these ideas but need help getting started/gathering resources? Email us a (no need to be Detroit-based)!

Anonymous said: Would you sacrifice your ultimate career goals for a family?

I think my ultimate career goal (directing community-based homeschools) actually fits in SWIMMINGLY with also having and caring for a family, so I don’t think a sacrifice would be necessary. 

Anonymous said: Do your parents know you're an atheist?

Not exactly. They’re not ready for that. /: 

Anonymous said: do you like switching positions alot during sex?

Not really. It’s fun to try new positions and all that, but switching too much can be annoying. If I’m headed to where I need to be, and you suddenly switch up, I’mma be mad. Also, I think some men switch up SO much to disguise the fact that they don’t actually have a stroke. I think the truly talented don’t need to be on no Cirque du Soleil shit all the time. 

eyeamgoddess said: What books would you suggest to anyone new to feminism?

Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center by bell hooks I think is a great place to start. (: